If you’ve spent any time on social media over the last month, you might been bombarded with all of the “Your 2024 wrapped!” from the different social, music, and video channels…
But seeing all of those inspired me to write a “2024 Wrapped” myself — but in a little bit of a different way.
I am not going to lie, writing this is hard.
It’s hard for a few reasons…
But, even as I share the things following this and even though it is hard, it is in the same breathe, amazing.
Yesterday was Christmas, and as most of us are joining together with our families, we gathered to celebrate the birth of Jesus.
Jesus, being God himself, came into humanity born as a baby, lived a life we could not live and died a death that we should’ve died.
Isaiah 53 described him as the suffering servant.
And suffer He did.
This is what was on my mind during this Christmas season.
Honestly, 2024 was one of the best, if not THEE best year of my life.
There’s a lot to be thankful and feel blessed about, and God has showed up in my life multiple ways this year.
I got married, the Instagram account growth has been amazing, there’s been a tangible impact from the work that God is doing through the videos I make.
This year I’ve been in the best shape of my life, met some incredible people who I’ve looked up to, had success through random business related projects, even created a free Bible study guide that thousands have downloaded and read.
These are a few examples of how 2024 has been a great year for me…
Yet…
Really, the 1 word I could use to describe the last 3 or so months of my life has been…
Suffering.
And that is why I believe that acknowledging Jesus as the suffering servant was on my mind this Christmas.
And I hope as I share some of the things that I have been going through, that maybe if you have also been suffering you would find comfort through the words you read.
Or if you haven’t been suffering, that you would be encouraged for when the time you do, or be encouraged that the Lord still delivers.
Mainly, because as a Christian, and as a believer in the risen Jesus Christ, when suffering comes He makes a way to still bring about peace even in the thick of trials and tribulation.
James 1:2-4, "Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces patience. And let patience have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing."
The suffering started in October of this year.
I had been working my full time job for about 5 months, and on the side, working on my social media consulting business.
And the first thing to set off what seemed to be a string of unfortunate things that happened to me was a problem that arose with my PC.
What happened was I had ordered a new part to make a routine upgrade to my computer.
Something that I have done MANY times over the years.
And this somehow turned into me losing thousands of dollars (as a newlywed, and as a man who needs to provide for his wife.)
The long story short of it, is the new part I ordered wasn’t compatible with the rest of my PC — Okay, Oops on my end. No worries. We’ll just order the correct one and all will be fine.
Yeah… It was not fine.
After that new part did not work for my PC, the original part I had also stopped working — essentially, my PC was out of commission.
To not drag on the story, this led to me needing to practically replace every part of my computer, which was not cheap.
And if that alone was the problem… Okay, whatever, we move on.
Well, unfortunately that’s not where this PC debacle ended.
In the process of upgrading the original storage device I used for my computer fried in the transition.
And me, unknowing what the problem was, spent nearly 20 hours over the next 4 days troubleshooting, all to end up driving to a local computer repair shop to get a paid diagnosis.
The guy there has never seen the problem that my storage device (SSD) had, so he couldn’t fix it, and the recommended me to a miliary-grade storage-recovery company.
I sent it to them in overnight mail to see what they would say.
They quoted me $3300-3700 to attempt to fix it — and said it could take 1-3 months. (mainly because they have to physically extract the raw data nodes on the actual device)
So, not only did the cost to fix the PC amount to thousands… the cost to receive all of my storage back was going to cost that.
Okay, but, why can’t I just accept the storage loss and restart?
Because as it turns out, I had an even greater amount of money on that storage device, that if I did not receive the files from that storage, would also be lost.
I know that sounds weird, but essentially there was information on it that I need in order to have access to it, and there’s no way to get to it without it.
To this day as I write this, I’ve heard nothing from them except “Sorry, we haven’t figured it out yet.” and they told me I would need to continue to wait.
And this was just the beginning of the events that have transpired.
I will be more brief with the others, but they essentially go like this…
Shortly after this all transpired, I decided I was going to just accept the loss and move on and pretend it’s all gone.
A hard pill to swallow, especially considering financially that’s a big hit on my wife and I.
The next thing to happen was my shoulder surgery on November 18th.
Yes, recently I received shoulder surgery, and unfortunately through my work I didn’t have the best insurance out there.
a $5000 deductible was what I needed to meet with an upfront $4200 to the surgery center on the day of the surgery.
That was also a massive hit, considering what just happened with the PC problem.
At this point, all of this was starting to weigh heavy on me.
But, at least I had a job that was bringing in an income, and things we’re going to be taken care of!
The surgery was on Monday the 18th, and I took the rest of the week off.
I wake up the following Monday and I see an email in my inbox from my supervisor and a meeting that’s 15-minutes long.
Hmm.. That’s weird. Am I getting fired?
I had a weird, queasy feeling on the inside, but I didn’t have any concrete reasons to justify those thoughts on why I would be getting fired.
My clients loved me.
Nonetheless, I join the meeting and there is my supervisor, and the CEO.
I was let go.
The morning I am back from my surgery — I am let go.
Randomly.
Which is ironic, because after the clients I had there heard that I was let go (not because my company told them, but because emails to me bounced), some approached me to contract with them directly, which I thought was ironic.
Anyways — that is not a fun thing to hear regardless of the circumstances, much less when you just went through HUGE financial instability through random things.
Not to mention, the not-so-good insurance that the company offered me expires December 31st this year.
Meaning, all of the physical therapy, and rehab into January-April will not be covered by it.
Did I also mention my wife and I’s car both needed new batteries while this was going on too?
This might be starting to sound like I am complaining, or ranting, or something in between, but trust me, there is a reason why I am writing all of these things.
The last things 2 to happen, actually happened 3 nights ago on Christmas-eve-eve.
On the morning of the 23rd (this past Monday), I figured out that our energy bill was in fact not on auto-pay.
So, we were hit with huge late fees, on top of the energy cost.
And, when going to pay all of these, the company charged all of the transactions TWICE.
Meaning double the amount was taken out of our bank account. (fortunately, we will get this back, but not for 3 weeks.)
And lastly…
I ended up in Urgent Care that night for a raspatory problem where I was having troubles breathing.
Thankfully, it didn’t end up being anything incredibly serious, but at the time, knowing that money was already tight, was not something I wanted to do.
Especially with Christmas around the corner.
So these are the things that have been going on the last 3 months of my life.
It’s been hard.
I’ve been suffering.
Even earlier this month, I was genuinely concerned on if I’d be able to pay the rent for January.
And this is the thing I want to share with you.
Through all of this going on, there has been a peace inside of me.
God telling me “It’s going to be okay. I am going to provide.”
I can look back at my life and find many times when I thought hope was lost, when I thought I was at the end of my rope, but God showed up at the last moment and said “Nils, I am here. Do not worry.”
He has, time and time again.
And I firmly believe this is one of those times again.
The suffering, trials, and tribulation has been hard.
Very hard.
Yet, the Lord is there.
I somehow have peace, unexplainable.
I know things are going to work themselves out for good. (Rom 8:28)
Because I know who suffered for me, and that man, who was and is the living God, was born over 2000 years ago in a small town known as Bethlehem.
And it is that same God who ascended into heaven, leaving us with the Holy Spirit, the same power that raised Jesus from the dead, to dwell inside of His children.
To dwell inside of me.
To bring peace, joy, goodness, faithfulness, and so on.
As I write this, I am in a hard spot. Genuinely.
The other day I had coffee with a friend of mine, and even though I haven’t hardly told anyone what has been going on in my life regarding this, I decided to tell him.
And he told me it reminded him of a verse in 2 Corinthians.
"For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though he was rich, yet for your sake he became poor, so that you by his poverty might become rich." 2 Corinthians 8:9
What a beautiful verse — what would happen if I were to gain the world, but lose Christ?
How much better is it to go through suffering, trials, and yet I know Christ?
Even though materially and financially this was draining — I am rich because I know Christ.
The suffering servant, who lived a life I could not life, and died a death I should’ve died.
I trust that in my situation, God is going to work all things out.
And I ask you for prayer in that I would continue to trust in His timing and His wisdom.
An encouraging word would be appreciated if you feel led.
Thanks for reading.
-Nils
P.S. I write this as an encouragement to you. But I also write this as a letter to myself in the future. I want to remember these things. I will look back on all of this and praise the Lord, because something is being taught, and my character is being tested in the fire.